Elaine Dickens, MA, RP | Live Inspired Wellness Inc.

Modern masculinity is undergoing a quiet revolution.

Gone are the days when strength was measured solely in silence, stoicism, or the ability to “man up.” Today’s evolving model of masculinity doesn’t discard strength—it redefines it. At its core, modern masculinity isn’t about shrinking identity; bringing all parts of the self to the table. As podcaster Nick Slater puts it, “It’s not about being less of a man; it’s about being more whole.” That sentence alone challenges decades of social conditioning and what I sometimes witness in the therapy room.

The Old Blueprint Is Breaking Down

Many of the men I work with—whether high-achieving professionals, exhausted fathers, or thoughtful partners, are quietly wrestling with a dissonance: the traits they were told to suppress (vulnerability, empathy, intuition) are the very ones that seem essential for connection, leadership, and love today.

They’re not alone in this tension. Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, speaks to this shift in her exploration of intimacy and identity. She writes, “We have called upon men to become more emotionally expressive, more collaborative and more connected—while still expecting them to maintain dominance, decisiveness, and self-sufficiency.” In other words, today’s man is being asked to be both strong and soft, assertive and attuned. It’s not easy, but it is possible.

Emotional Intelligence: The New Masculine Superpower

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is often discussed in corporate boardrooms and leadership training—but its role in reshaping masculinity is just as critical. EQ isn’t about emotional over-sharing or being “too sensitive.” It’s about knowing what you feel, understanding how it impacts others, and responding-not reacting—in a way that aligns with your values.

Consider this: a man who can say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed and I need a moment,” is exercising strength. I know he's choosing self-regulation over reactivity. A father who can say, “I didn’t get that right. I’m sorry,” is modelling repair and resilience. To me that's not weakness—that’s legacy work.

Dating in the Age of Vulnerability

Dating coach Logan Ury, author of How To Not Die Alone, also highlighted how emotional availability is now one of the most attractive traits in a partner. In her research and coaching, she consistently finds that men who can articulate their feelings, understand their needs, and communicate boundaries are far more successful in forming meaningful, lasting connections.

This flips old scripts. Instead of the “cool guy” archetype—aloof, noncommittal, emotionally removed—what people are craving are real, reliable, emotionally present men. Ury calls this “Data-Driven Dating,” but in my eyes it's really heart-driven. Because emotional depth isn’t just good for relationships—it’s good for men’s mental health, too.

The Cost of Suppression

Here’s the truth we often don’t say aloud: unexpressed emotions don’t disappear. They leak. Into our bodies (through tension, chronic pain, illness), into our relationships (through withdrawal or aggression), and into our mental health (through anxiety, depression, addiction).

Suppressing emotion doesn’t make you stronger. But it does make you lonelier.

Many men were never taught the language of emotional literacy. But it’s a learnable skill—just like any other. And practicing it doesn’t make you less of a man; it allows you to show up more fully—in work, in love, and in life.

The Rise of Relational Masculinity

There’s a new wave of men who are choosing wholeness. Who are learning that you can hold both ambition and tenderness. That you can be direct without being domineering. That setting boundaries doesn’t mean shutting people out, and asking for support doesn’t mean surrendering power.

This is relational masculinity. Rooted in self-awareness, grounded in empathy, and driven by connection—not control.

A Call to Men

If you’re reading this and feeling a pull (maybe even some resistance), that’s okay. Growth often starts in the discomfort.

You don’t have to throw out everything you’ve learned about being a man. But you might want to ask: What parts of me have I exiled in the name of masculinity? What kind of man do I actually want to be—and how can I start practicing that now?

Because being “man enough” today isn’t about proving anything to anyone else. It’s about being present enough, honest enough, and courageous enough to become more of yourself.

Want to go deeper?
At Live Inspired Wellness, we support men who are ready to rewrite the script and lead from a place of emotional clarity. Book a free discovery call to learn more.

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Photo by Erics Harison on Unsplash