Elaine Dickens, MA, RP | Live Inspired Wellness Inc.

We live in a world that worships productivity and perfection, which makes healthy self-reflection feel... risky. But what if we could reflect on our choices and behaviours in a way that cultivates growth without tipping into shame or self-doubt?

As a therapist, I often invite clients to use a self-regulation strategy I rely on myself: 2 strengths and 1 adjustment.

This reflection tool is deceptively simple. You identify:

1. Two things that went well, and
2. One thing you would do differently next time.

Let me walk you through why this method works and how it’s backed by research.

The Psychology Behind It

This approach reflects several overlapping theories:

• Self-Regulated Learning Theory (Zimmerman, 2000): Encourages people to monitor and adapt their behaviours to improve over time.
• Experiential Learning Cycle (Kolb, 1984): Promotes growth through reflection and intentional experimentation.
• Strengths-Based Reflection (Positive Psychology): Highlights what’s going well to reinforce resilience and motivation.

By starting with your strengths, you anchor your reflection in what worked. This creates a neurobiological foundation of safety; your brain feels less threatened, more open to learning. The one area of adjustment becomes an opportunity, not an indictment. And it's a tool that fosters well respect and self compassion.

Real-World Examples

Let’s say you just finished hosting a tough team meeting. Your reflection might look like this:

• Strength 1: I held space for a tough conversation without rushing or shutting it down.
• Strength 2: I stayed grounded even though I was nervous.
• Adjustment: Next time, I’ll build in more time for discussion so we’re not rushing the last activity.

No spiralling. Just clarity. No shame.

Why Only One Area of Growth?

Because your brain and your nervous system can only metabolize so much feedback before it starts to shut down. One change is doable. Sustainable. Empowering. This keeps you out of the all-or-nothing mindset that fuels perfectionism.

Try It Yourself

This reflection method works beautifully in journaling, therapy, parenting, leadership, and even in processing conflict.  Use it after a hard conversation, a big milestone, or a quiet moment of solitude.

Let your reflections become breadcrumbs back to yourself.

Ready to Try It?

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Grab a pen. Ask yourself:

• What two things am I proud of?
• What’s one adjustment I’d like to make next time?

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Notice what shifts.

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You don’t need to be hard on yourself to grow.This reflection tool is a soft place to land, and a strong place to launch from. Want to explore this work together?

Let's Talk

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Photo by Josep Pines on Unsplash