A few weeks ago, I stood on stage at an entrepreneur summit with my colleague Leah Gust — a personal brand stylist who helps leaders embody confidence through style. Together, we shared our talk Aligned AF: Embodying Confidence and Presence in Business.

Even without slides. The idea that landed hardest was simple, almost playful: what if black leggings were holding you back?

During the networking session that followed, I overheard conversations circling back to this point again and again. Entrepreneurs were unpacking the metaphor, laughing nervously, and then reflecting more deeply. It stuck because it wasn’t really about leggings. It was about identity shifting — the invisible process of becoming who you’re meant to be in business and in life.

Why Identity Shifting Feels So Hard

Entrepreneurs live in a constant state of reinvention. They often tell me how exhausted they are of having to show up confidently, when inside they feel anything but! Every growth milestone, whether it's the first client, or the first six-figure year — requires a new identity. And yet, most of us try to power through these shifts with strategy alone.

The nervous system doesn’t work that way. It craves familiarity. Even when “familiar” is playing small. That’s why identity shifts can feel like friction, resistance, or even self-sabotage.

From a psychological lens, change only sticks when the body feels safe to hold it. Polyvagal Theory helps explain why:

• Sympathetic (fight/flight): “I have to fix it or hustle harder.”
• Dorsal vagal (shutdown): “It’s too much — I can’t.”
• Ventral vagal (safety, creativity, connection): “I’m safe enough to expand.”

If your nervous system doesn’t trust the new identity, it will unconsciously pull you back toward the old one — no matter how many vision boards or strategy sessions you stack on top.

The Black Leggings Analogy

Black leggings aren’t the problem. They’re comfortable, easy, and forgiving. The issue is when they become your default. Worn daily, they start reinforcing a message: blend in, stay comfortable, and don’t risk standing out.

Now imagine this: you stop wearing black leggings for the rest of the year (except for workouts). At first, it feels inconvenient. Vulnerable, even. But slowly, you notice yourself dressing with more intention. People respond to you differently. And one day, you catch your reflection and realize: I don’t see the same woman I saw last year.

That one micro-shift — a small wardrobe choice — ripples outward. You didn’t just change your clothes. You changed the way you inhabit yourself.

This is identity shifting in real time.

Practical Tools for Identity Shifting

Clothing is one entry point, but identity shifting is about a bigger conversation between your mind, body, and environment. Here’s how to work with it:

1. Language Audit — Replace “I’m trying to…” with “I’m learning to…” Small linguistic shifts build self-concept.
2. Environmental Cues — Add one object to your space that belongs to your future self — a statement chair, a framed quote, a new blazer.
3. Somatic Anchors — Practice nervous system regulation: longer exhales, jaw softening, grounding. Confidence grows when the body learns it can return to safety.
4. Micro-Commitments — Rather than overhaul your entire identity, commit to one consistent micro-shift (like the leggings). Repetition signals safety.

Building Self-Efficacy: Why Small Wins Matter

Psychologist Albert Bandura defined self-efficacy as the belief that you can influence outcomes in your life. It’s not about false confidence or pretending you have it all together — it’s about building trust with yourself through small, repeatable wins. If you're interested in reading more about self efficacy click here.

When you decide to ditch black leggings for the rest of the year (unless you’re working out), it’s not really about the pants. It’s about proving to yourself: I can make a micro-shift and sustain it. Every day you choose differently, you reinforce the belief: I can handle change. I can embody the identity I’m moving toward.

This is why identity shifting works best in increments. Each micro-shift builds your nervous system’s capacity to regulate and your mind’s confidence that you can sustain transformation.

Want to go deeper? Check out this short video on self-efficacy. It unpacks why belief in your ability matters more than talent or luck, and how you can build it over time.

When you combine self-efficacy with embodied practices (like nervous system regulation and intentional style choices), you create a bridge between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.

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Why It Matters for Entrepreneurs

The most successful entrepreneurs don’t wait to “feel ready.” Ready is an action. They create readiness by aligning the nervous system with the new identity. They understand that you can’t out-hustle your body’s sense of safety.

If your nervous system still identifies with the black-leggings version of you — the smaller, safer, hidden version — you’ll unconsciously sabotage the opportunities that require you to stand taller.

The Takeaway

Identity shifting isn’t about burning down who you’ve been. It’s about creating a bridge your nervous system trusts enough to cross.

So I’ll leave you with this question: Where are you still wearing black leggings in your life? And what small, embodied shift would let you step into the identity of the entrepreneur you’re becoming?

When you change the signals you send to yourself, you change the story you live into. And just like the entrepreneurs I spoke with after that summit, you may realize the simplest metaphors are the ones that set you free.

As an entrepreneur, your business can only expand as much as your nervous system feels safe to. If you’re ready to scale your confidence and step into your next identity with intention, I’d love to support you. Schedule a call and let’s talk about what alignment looks like for you.

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Photo by Alex Shaw on Unsplash

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