Love him or hate him, Aaron Rodgers offers a masterclass in the existential struggles of perfectionism—and, yes, I’m a Packers fan. Watching Enigma on Netflix this weekend, I couldn’t help but think of a few of my clients—high achievers, perfectionists, and driven individuals—who wrestle with the same questions Rodgers seems to be "packing all the way to New York." Because beyond the headlines and the game, his journey reveals something deeply human: the search for self-worth, satisfaction, and meaning.

The Unforgiving Nature of Perfectionism

As Rodgers puts it, perfectionism is both a gift and a curse. It pushes us to excel, to go beyond what seems possible. It sharpens our mental edge and helps us achieve incredible feats. But it’s also unrelenting. There’s always a voice whispering, "This isn’t good enough. You’re not good enough."

Perfectionism feeds on dissatisfaction. Ain't that the truth?

Even when you’ve reached the top, it has you looking for the next peak, the next win, the next source of external validation. Rodgers reflects on how this mindset served him in his sport but left gaps in his personal life. I often hear a similar sentiment in therapy: “My drive has helped me achieve success, but it’s cost me peace.”

The Subliminal Belief: I Am Broken

Rodgers' vulnerability really struck a chord with me when he said, "At the core of being a perfectionist, whether we admit it or not, we know something is missing. We feel broken because we’re not perfect."

This unspoken belief fuels self-loathing and an endless quest for external proof of worth. It’s the belief that if you achieve enough, perform well enough, or become “perfect,” you’ll finally be whole.

But perfection is an illusion. And the chase leaves us feeling more disconnected, not less. As existential therapist Viktor Frankl wrote, “Man’s main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain but rather to see a meaning in his life.” Perfectionism hijacks this search for meaning, replacing it with a treadmill of accomplishments.

Can I Love Myself If That’s All I’ve Done?

Rodgers questions what it might mean to no longer be a football player—a theme I see often in high achievers facing transitions.

Whether it's stepping away from a career, letting go of a role, or redefining identity, the question lingers: Who am I if I’m not this? Perfectionists often tether their sense of self to what they do, not who they are.

This shift is existentially jarring. When our identity is wrapped in external success, stepping off the  field—or leaving the boardroom—can feel like free-falling into irrelevance. Learning to separate what we do from who we are is one of the hardest yet most liberating journeys and it's beautiful to watch.

The Mental Edge and the Inner Void

Rodgers also talks about investing in his mental edge. His exploration of psychedelics, like ayahuasca, is part of his journey toward greater self-awareness and emotional freedom. While not for everyone, these experiences underscore an important truth: mental sharpness and emotional depth go hand in hand. For perfectionists, the mental edge is often honed to razor-sharp precision, but the inner world—the feelings, vulnerabilities, and unmet needs—is neglected.

Spending time on your inner life—through therapy, mindfulness, or even deep conversations—is like rebalancing the scales. It’s not about abandoning ambition but learning to temper it with self-compassion, rest, and acceptance.

The Core Problem: Never Being Satisfied

Rodgers said it best: “The problem with being a perfectionist is never being satisfied, never being happy with where you’re at.” This mindset isn’t sustainable. It leads to a life where contentment is always just out of reach, constantly replaced by the next goal or benchmark.

In therapy, I often ask clients: What would it mean to just be enough as you are? It’s not an easy question for perfectionists, but it’s a necessary one.

Satisfaction isn’t about complacency; it’s about learning to celebrate where you are while still holding space for growth.

Final Reflections

Watching Enigma, I can't help but notice the bravery it takes to question everything you’ve built your identity around. Rodgers’ willingness to step into these uncomfortable spaces is a reminder that even those at the top struggle with worth, meaning, and the fear of irrelevance.

For perfectionists, the journey isn’t about abandoning excellence—it’s about redefining it. It’s about finding worth in who you are, not just in what you do. Because at the end of the day, the question isn’t just, "Can I love myself if that’s all I’ve done?" but, "Can I love myself, period?"

For those navigating similar questions, therapy can be a powerful space to explore these themes and find meaning beyond perfection.

Book a free consultation to get started.

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